


wishes and stardust

by pasteljaem



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mark and Donghyuck hate each other, Mutual Pining, Swearing, bed sharing, how does one even tag, idk where the angst came from tbh, legit rated this mature just for the swearing, lol sike, they're just idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 13:24:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19813189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasteljaem/pseuds/pasteljaem
Summary: I don’t hate you though, Mark wants to say, but he's spent too much time hiding these words deep inside him to let them out so easily now. He hears Donghyuck blow his cheeks out, hears the tap-tap of his feet against the wooden floor.“And I’m sorry for catching feelings because now I just can't seem to get ove–”Mark freezes.Catching feelings?or, when the heater in Mark's dorm room breaks down he finds his annoying roommate crawling into his bed the same way he'd crawled into his heart.





	wishes and stardust

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting a fic on here and it's really cheesy and purely self indulgent but like? there's nothing better than markhyuck fluff don't try to fite me on this cuz i know i shall win xD
> 
> anyways, enjoy! ♡
> 
> (also this is not really proof-read so sorry for any mistakes in advance jzjdsjsk)

Mark regrets every life decision he's ever made as he flips onto his side, huddling against the wall in hopes of finding some warmth.

Not that the situation he's stuck in at the moment is his fault in any way. He couldn't help it if their room heater thought that late November was the perfect time to break down, now, could he?

The thin blanket draped across his curled up form offers no protection from the biting cold that's slowly seeping into his bones, numbing his body. He's lost count of the times he'd called customer service, asking – practically begging – to send someone in to fix the heater that day itself, until the man had had enough with him.

_“We'll send in an agent first thing tomorrow. And if your needs are too urgent, I'm afraid you'll have to find some other way to get it fixed.”_

The voice floating out through the receiver was curt, laced with evident irritation, as the man added, “ _Have a good day sir._ ”

“It's literally seven in the evening, the hell,” Mark could hear his annoying roommate grumble from the other side of the room, and he harshly pressed a finger to his lips in a way of telling him to shut the fuck up. The younger boy just poked his tongue out at him in return.

He was about to threaten the man, saying he'd sue him for attempted murder if they somehow, miraculously managed to survive the night but the guy hung up before he could get the words out.

So here he is now, shivering in the dark and cursing his luck for the billionth time in his life. The bed on the opposite side of their somewhat narrow dorm room creaks, and the next thing he knows, Donghyuck's standing over him, blanket in hand, as he stares him down.

“What do _you_ want now?” The older spits as he sits up in bed, glaring at the younger.

“You're cold,” the boy observes simply, eyes fixed on the way Mark’s holding his arms around his body, trying to find more heat.

“Is that all you woke me up for?” Mark asks, in what he hopes is an annoyed voice, but it's hard considering the fact that his teeth keep chattering.

“Woke _you_ up?” The latter scoffs, folding his arms across his chest. “Shouldn't it be the other way round? I can't sleep from the all the noise you're making, creaking around on this goddamn bed.”

“Well, does sleeping beauty want me to apologize to her for waking her up from her nap?” Mark throws back sarcastically, refusing to back down.

“I could point out you'd need to kiss me to do that, but I won't, because obviously, you're not educated enough.”

 _Kiss me to do that_. The words take a moment to sink in.

Him. Kissing Donghyuck. Lee Donghyuck, who's currently standing in front of him in his tousled bed hair and oversized fuzzy white sweater, looking somewhat – Mark would give him that – adorable (read as : absolutely fucking adorable and a part of him wants to smother the boy in a bone-crushing hug, but he'd rather die than admit that). His lips look soft even though they’re slightly chapped and sort of raw from all the time the younger spends biting them. But the very thought of him kissing them is almost enough to make Mark choke on air, and he desperately hopes he's not blushing as madly as he thinks he is.

 _Get yourself together already_ , he scolds himself as he tries to come up with a witty answer to counter the latter.

“I…,” Mark begins, but trails off realizing he doesn't actually have one ready. He finally settles for a childish _I’d never kiss you_ and the younger rolls his eyes, giving him a small push – gentle but insistent.

“Move over,” he orders, and the older frowns.

“I'm not cold. And I don't need your help.” _(lies)_

Donghyuck stares at him for a while and then abruptly turns away, moving back to his own bed. “Fine then. Suit yourself,” he comments, lowering his torso back onto his bed and flipping around so that his back is facing the older.

Mark lies awake in his own bed, wondering what to make of this. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't slightly disappointed when Donghyuck didn't insist on staying, but he guesses that'd be asking for too much. After all, that's something a friend would do, not someone who's your sworn enemy.

And the raven-haired boy would be lying even more if he said he hadn't developed a “soft spot” (he refused to call it a crush) for the younger over the past couple of years. But you don't just suddenly declare that you care more than you'd like to admit, for the person you're supposed to hate.

He doesn't even remember how it all started. Something to do with a pizza and Mark's favourite shirt, if he remembers correctly, but that's as far as his memory would take him. You can't expect a college kid to remember the huge load of (unnecessary, if you ask him) information AND random stuff that's happened in his life. Heck, Mark doesn't even remember what he ate for lunch the previous day, much less something that happened almost two years ago.

All he knows, is that it started with something petty, something not really worth fighting over, but it happened, and from there it just built up. And now barely a moment passes when they're together, but not bickering over something, thoughtlessly throwing endless insults each other's way. The older’s not even sure why they’re supposed to hate each other, anymore. They just fight as if it’s something they’re obliged to do, because treating each other some other way would seem unacceptable.

Although sometimes, Mark wishes things would be different…and that again, is something he'd never admit to. He doesn't want to accept a lot of things in life, Mark realizes. But he blames the genes, his dad being one of the most stubborn people he's ever come across in his life.

He doesn't know when he slipped into a hazy slumber but he wakes up when he feels something warm move against his back. There's a thick unfamiliar blanket draped over his body, long bony limbs tangled with his own. He sits up with a jerk, staring down at the younger boy who's currently awake and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Listen…,” he begins in an exasperated voice, before Mark can say anything,“you kept shivering, and as much as I hate you, I didn't want to be the one the police blamed in case you died.” The younger's voice sounds hoarse, probably from the lack of verbiage running from his mouth.

“You didn’t have to…,” Mark starts off with a straight face, but turns his face away to hide the smile that's growing onto his lips. “...but thanks, I guess.”

“Can we be civil to each other?” Donghyuck asks in a small voice. There's none of the usual venom laced in it, and it surprises the older slightly. “For tonight, at least?”

“Umm, yeah…,” Mark lowers himself back onto the bed turning his body so that he's facing the younger. “Sure thing. Don’t let this give you any weird ideas though.”

The latter scoffs. “What weird ideas do you expect me to get? I’m just doing this so that I don’t get charged with roommate-icide.”

“That's not even a word, shithead,” Mark retorts, but there's no real bite to it.

“None of this would have happened anyways if you didn't set your blanket or rug or whatever the heck you call it, on fire,”the latter grumbles, pouting a little. Mark finds it endearing, but he'd jump off their dormitory building before he admitted to that little fact. _(there it is again, another thing he doesn't want to admit to)_

“Oh, that's rich,” he shoots back instead, “If I remember correctly, _you_ were the one who was about to burn the entire dorm down, playing around with that damn scented candle you bought. Be a little grateful.”

Donghyuck narrows his eyes at him, before giving his shoulder a half-hearted shove.

“You're stupid.”

“What? That's it? Did you run out of insults or something?” Mark presses on, raising an amused eyebrow at the brunette laying beside him.

For a moment everything's quiet. It's just the two of them, looking at each other. Mark's holding his breath, though he's not sure sure why, as he waits for the younger so say something– _anything_ , but he doesn't. Donghyuck's staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. And then suddenly, it’s like something within him snaps and he looks away.

“I can't do this anymore.” Donghyuck lets out a frustrated sigh, voice thick with defeat. He sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed.

This sudden change in mood surprises the older, and Mark frowns, wondering if he'd said something wrong. “Hey…,” he begins, unsure of how to continue,“...I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't have. I didn't mean to, I swear.”

“No, it's not you.” The younger lets out a bitter laugh. “I'm just stupid.”

“I know I may not seem like someone who cares, but you can tell me if anything's bothering you…” Mark’s frown deepens, concern evident in his voice as he reaches out to touch the younger's shoulder. “Hyuck?”

“What do you want me to tell you?” the younger snaps suddenly, jerking away from his touch. “That I don't actually hate you? That this- all of _this_ -” he thrusts his arm out. His voice is shaky and it's too dark to see if he's crying. “-is just a show I'm putting on? That all those times I've complained about the campus authorities not allowing a roommate exchange was a lie ‘cause I’d never actually requested for one? I know you hate me...you made that one clear _many_ times...”

 _I don’t hate you though_ , Mark wants to say, but he's spent too much time hiding these words deep inside him to let them out so easily now. He hears Donghyuck blow his cheeks out, hears the _tap-tap_ of his feet against the wooden floor.

“And I’m sorry for catching feelings because now I just can't seem to get ove–”

Mark freezes. _Catching feelings?_

What was that supposed to mean? Didn't hate him? Mark thought he was the only one with these stupid unrequited feelings. The only one putting on a show of disliking the younger because he thought the boy hated him. This was all so sudden, so unexpected – so _unreal_ – Mark almost slaps himself to check if he's dreaming.

But no, Donghyuck's sitting right there, in front of him, cheeks tinted pink, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Donghyuck what do y- what are you even saying right now?” the older finds himself saying, struggling to keep his own voice steady.

The younger is staring at his hands. He picks at a few strands of thread coming loose from the edge of the blanket. “That day...that day when I first came here. I was having trouble with the bags and you helped me carry them all in. And you smiled at me and you were just so sweet to me then – _god_ , this sounds so fucking pathetic when I say it – but I don't know, I realized I wanted to keep being around you. I wanted to keep seeing you smile at me like that.”

And all Mark can do is stare is at him. Donghyuck doesn't meet his eyes though. His fingers clench around the blanket, drawing it messily into his fist, before he quickly continues.

“I was so fucking stupid to hope that I'd not mess up, that I'd have a chance with you. I knew I’d ruin it at some point, I always do...but I just- I don’t know, I wish I wouldn’t mess stuff up for once...,” Donghyuck trails off, rubbing his eyes to wipe the tears away before they can fall.

“Hyuck…,” Mark breathes, “ _god_ , this is lot to take in but– I never hated you. And what’s all this you’re saying about messing up? For the love of god, I don't even remember what the hell we argued about in the first place.”

“Me neither…” the younger says in a small voice and Mark laughs.

“You idiot. I've liked you for so long and I always thought you'd never return those feelings ‘cause you hated me and now all this seems so stupid, I–”

“Wait _what_.” The latter's eyes are wide, as he cuts off the older’s speech. He stares at him in disbelief, and this times when Mark reaches out to pull the boy into his arms, he doesn't push him away.

“Yeah. I thought I made it obvious. Towards the beginning, you know? Jesus, I think I gave you a hundred hints _every fucking day_. But you never – I wanted to strangle you so bad sometimes ‘cause, I swear to god, you were the most oblivious person on this damn planet...and then I realized maybe you didn’t like me that way, would never see me as anything other your roommate- or a friend at most, so I stopped before I could end up hurting myself even more I already was.”

Donghyuck’s head is buried in his chest and his voice comes out muffled when he speaks.

“Shut the fuck up. You're lying.”

He can feel the younger's body shaking– or is it him? Mark doesn't know anymore, at this point. Everything seems to be shaking, from relief, from being overwhelmed, from carrying a heavy heart for such a long time, only to realize it's the lightest thing on earth.

“Nope,”he replies simply, popping the p.

Donghyuck pulls back and stares at him. His face is slightly puffy from sleep, the corners of his eyes tinged red but Mark could look at him forever if it meant he'd get to see the younger looking at him with a gaze so tender, so hopeful, so full of love and amazement.

“You mean to say you’ve liked me all this while?” the latter says, blinking rapidly – something Mark's noticed him doing whenever he's trying to comprehend something. “But that doesn't make sense. You said meeting me was the worst thing that happened in your life.”

He says it simply, like it's not a big deal. Just the words as they are. No deeper meaning attached. Mark flinches.

“That one was the hardest,”he mumbles under his breath.

“Huh?”

“When I said this that day, right to your face, knowing I didn't mean any of it...it was one of the hardest things I'd ever done.”

Suddenly, the reality hits him even harder and Mark thinks he's suffocating. His throat constricts and he's trying to breathe, but the air won't go in, like his lungs are surrounded by metal bands. All those hurtful things he's said to the younger—

“I'm sorry. _So, so sorry_ ,” he manages to choke out, feeling sick.

“You don't have to apologize,” Donghyuck interrupts, leaning forward to press his forehead against the older's. “Because I said some pretty hurtful things too. So I guess-” he pauses to let out a breathy giggle. “I guess we're even. Plus, neither of us actually meant any of it so it doesn’t count.”

Mark's not sure if that's supposed to be a good thing, but it _does_ make him feel better. Even if it’s only by a tiny bit. Breathing feels easier, he begins to wonder less about how much damage it would cause his body if he were to get out of bed and jump out of their window right then and there.

“This is so stupid oh my god,” he begins, “you’re telling me you like me, that all that bullshit we said to each other, neither of us meant _any_ of it and all that fighting, pretending that we hated each other for no particular reason…”

“All of it was just - _useless_ , and both of us could have— you could have just told me– I didn't know...,” Mark whispers and the younger looks almost offended.

“Well, I could say the same to you!”

Mark offers him a sheepish, half-guilty smile as he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck.

“I guess.”

“But yeah...it's so silly now that I think about it,” the younger adds softly after a while, traces of the initial shock and disbelief written clear across his face. “I don't even know why we got so defensive about stuff.”

“No one uses the word silly anymore, dumbass.”

“Well I do, so suck it up, moron.”

Donghyuck pulls back and gets up. The older reaches out immediately – almost reflexively –to pull him back, an _I'm sorry_ ready on the tip of his tongue.

It’s so familiar, bickering with him, he almost does it out of habit. Unconsciously, without giving it a second thought. Mark hopes he doesn’t actually screw up someday, because he doesn’t think he can bear to lose the other. Not now, not after so long.

But Donghyuck isn't going anywhere. He only crawls over Mark so that he's in between the wall and the older.

“I don't wanna sleep on the side. It’s too cold.”

And suddenly he leans forward, places his hands on Mark’s shoulders and kisses him.

It’s just a chaste press of lips to lips, nothing deep, nothing wild, but it’s so unexpected that it throws Mark off completely. It’s still so sweet, something that fills his ribcage with warmth and makes him feel all fuzzy inside.

Mark's pretty sure he's smiling like an idiot when the younger pulls back.

“W-what was that?” he manages to breathe out, mentally slapping himself for stuttering.

“A goodnight kiss.”

“It's five in the morning.”

“Well, a good morning kiss then.” The corners of his lips pull up into a lopsided smirk, and Mark feels like he's going to combust on spot. “And wipe that creepy smile off your face. It's scary.”

“I'm not smiling!”

“Are too.”

“Are no- I mean, am not!”

The younger laughs again and Mark's heart does a little flip in his chest.

“You're an idiot.”

“Hey-”

“But you're _my_ idiot.”

Mark pulls him closer and buries his face in the crook of the younger's neck.

“You're so cheesy, Lee Donghyuck.”

“I know.”

Donghyuck smells like lemon grass and freshly laundered cotton. Mark feels way too comfortable like this, wrapped up in the warm blanket, with the younger in his arms, curled up against him. He's not sure how they ended up like this. It all happened so quick, in a heartbeat; and a part of him still believes this is all a dream. But if this a dream, Mark doesn't want to wake up anytime soon.

“I've waited so long for this, you don't even know,” he mumbles against the soft skin of the boy’s neck.

It feels weird to think that they'd ever fought, now. To think that they’d ever thought they genuinely hated each other.

“Me too.” The younger pulls back to look at him.

“There's a-” Donghyuck presses a light finger below his left eye, on the highest point of his cheekbone, and drops a lone eyelash onto the smooth skin on the back of Mark's hand.

When Mark opens his eyes after blowing it away gently, his gaze locks with the latter's.

“What did you wish for?”

_For you to be mine._

“The wish won't come true if I tell you.” The older cracks a smile, carding his fingers through the younger’s hair. It soft. _So, so soft._ Just like he'd always imagined. And Mark thinks he's in heaven.

Donghyuck pouts. “You're no fun. I'm gonna go find a new boyfriend.”

It's funny how that one word is enough to make Mark's face burn. “ _B-boyfriend_?” he splutters.

“Why, don't you want to be my boyfriend?” The younger fakes a hurt expression and Mark scrambles to answer quickly.

“Y-Yeah! I mean obviously, I mea-”

“Shut up.”

Mark doesn't know if it's possible for him to blush any harder, because he's pretty sure he looks like a tomato right now.

 _I love you_ , he wants to say. But it's too early. Or maybe it's not.

Mark doesn't know what's making him so bold; maybe it's the fact that they're both sleepy or maybe a part of him has always _known_.

Because when the younger blinks, looking back at him with a sleepy smile, and asks him _what are you thinking about?_ – he doesn't hesitate to reply.

“You.”

Mark raises himself up to hover above the younger, and his smile widens. “I love you.”

It feels nice to be finally able to say it out loud.

Donghyuck smiles like the rising sun and Mark's mind is clouded with stardust when he dips his head down to kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> i wrote this thing literal ages ago but i didn't know if it was good enough to be posted but then i said fuck that shit and here we are lol. i'd really love it if you could leave some praises or (gentle) criticism,,, it'd mean the world to me and encourage me to write more ♡
> 
> you come scream at me on [ twt](http://twitter.com/jaemsparkles) or my [ cc](https://curiouscat.me/sunhyucks) :))


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